If the subject is craft fail I earned an A

A few weeks ago I had this "great" idea for a craft. It would be pretty easy, kind of fun, and be really adorable when it was finished. I even took pictures along the way because OBviously it was going to be so nifty everyone would want to make one. I am going to do this reverse tutorial style: I'll show you what I did but then ask you not to make one, haha.

OK, so at AC Moore I bought this:

I sanded smooth all the rough edges and then made a copy. Then, I used an Exacto knife to cut out all the individual parts. This was not easy. It caught and tore, and then I realized for what I was doing scissors would be fine. I just really wanted to sound all crafty by saying I used an Exacto knife.

I got out my big stack of scrapbooking papers and cut out the individual pieces in different colors. I cut each one about 1/8 smaller all the way around than my paper copy. I used a Sharpie to draw on the eye and the wing and the markings on the bow. I placed them where I wanted them and then I Mod-Podged them in place. I also think I wanted to say I used Mod Podge on a project because I never have before and Exacto knives and Mod Podge are the hallmarks of a true crafter, doncha know....

OK. So at this point I cut out everything smaller and Mod-Podged it down. Then I got this stuff:

I'll tell you now what I was envisioning and still thought was going to happen. I thought that I'd do this nifty faux stained glass thing but with paper instead of glass. Now that I'm writing it I guess it would be more like a mosaic...  And I'll tell you right now I was not under the influence of any substances whatsoever while I was dreaming this up. I took the snow texture stuff and filled in all the gaps and went around the edges with it. Then I started getting the uh-oh feeling. Instead of having a more concave feel like with a mosaic or anything resembling anything that could be confused with stained glass, what I was doing was building little painted snow drifts all over my little wooden chick. It wasn't having the exact effect I wanted, so for some reason I decided to paint the remaining wood white. I don't have a picture of this part, but if you will imagine an Easter chick running through a blizzard it is pretty much exactly what I had. You can kind of get a hint of it here:

I left it out to dry and walked away from it for a bit. I really hate to trash anything I've spent time on, so I was going to name it 'Chicken in a Blizzard' and pretend it was some kind of original artwork or something. Then my mumsy says "I think you need some green or something." OK. I've got green paint. So I painted the wooden parts green, and then lightly dabbed it all around the edges. It makes it look much more springy but it definitely has a what-the-hell-is-that kind of aura about it....

So yeah....compared to what was in my head this is a huuuuuge craft fail. But as far as being a salvageable Easter decoration I think it's ok. I'm pretty sure everyone will think my nephew made it, but I'll slip him some $$$ to take the credit because it's really good for a kid craft but absolutely terrible for his aunty who should really know better at this point...

And since I have no shame I am linking up my craft fail this week. Because sometimes, someone's gotta do it.