Don't Mess With Mickey Mouse

I've been rasslin' with a bag all evening, and it's defying its own existence at every turn.  Since work kicked my butt today (I haaate playing catch-up) and this bag kicked my butt tonight, you get to be the lucky recipient of my brain-clearing ramblings.  As always, you're welcome.

A few years ago, my sisters and I found a book at my grandma's house.  It was part of a larger set that she probably bought on sale somewhere to add to her collection of toys for when the littlest grandkids would visit.  It was this little three inch square board book that was about four pages.  Perhaps if the story was longer it would have made sense... I'm probably breaking a law here (I won't tell if you won't) but I had to take pictures of it to have a record of the oddness of this particular children's story.  And so, I present to you:

 Innocent enough--so far....

OK--first, isn't an eviction story a little bit mature for the intended audience of this story?  Also, Big Bad Pete looks like a mobster in the middle of a shake-down. 

The only thing I have to say here is that I would behave exactly as Donald did--I would be the worst helper on moving day, and I'd be as effective as a duck stuck in a fish bowl.  Not my kind of work...

First, how did they get the piano up there?  Second, this is a really bad lesson for kids--"if you can't figure it out, destroy it."  I feel it necessary to note that this would be the kind of solution my brother would come up with...  Also--why did they put the guy named Goofy in charge of such a task?  Did they really expect him to accomplish such heavy lifting on his own?  There needs to be more teamwork in this book...just sayin'.

So far, the story can be summarized as:  Beloved Disney characters are getting evicted.  Donald is useless.  Goofy is destructive.  Here comes the part that's a bit weird...

WHAT?  First, let's address this gas pipe.  I would imagine for a cigar to ignite it that it needs to be a leaking gas pipe.  Did the gang break the pipe to get back at Mafia Pete?  Because that's just wrong. But if they didn't and this gas pipe was just leaking--how are they not sick or unconscious or dead?  Perhaps the open window from tossing the piano aired things out a bit, but I don't think a leaky gas pipe should be taken so lightly.  Second, I have a problem with a few lovable characters laughing at the explosive misfortune of anyone--that doesn't seem like something we should be condoning.  Third, I have a problem with the logistics of this--if we're assuming that everyone is in the house when the explosion occurs, why aren't they dead?  If we take it as only Big Pete being in the house when it blew--then why isn't he dead?

Would that be just too much drama for a children's book?